Okay so I am now signed up for my classes and I am getting more and more excited and scared. I have my class schedule and Monday's and Wednesday's are going to be my busy days I have 3 classes on those days. Tuesdays and Thursdays I have one class but it is right in the middle of the day. Monday's I will be in school for 1pm to 9:15pm at night and that upsets me I wont be home for the kids at night, Wednesday's I will be there until 7:30. I don't like not being there to help the kids with homework and dinner and I know it will be hard on them and Mike. I will be there to take them to school in the mornings and they like that. I talked to them about it again last night and they are being very supportive. But I can't help feeling as though I am abandon them. Sure my brain knows the truth and that this is to better their lives but my heart isn't listening right now. Hopefully over the next 2 months I can get my heart on board.
I am still working on my grant stuff, and I am beginning to get worried there. Because unless I get these grants and the living expense I don't know what we will do as far as bills. I've got a meeting to meet with a finacual aid officer with the college June 22 so maybe I will relax a little when I do. I just want to know that at least my classes are paid for. I've wanted this for so long I hope nothing stands in my way and makes it to where this doesn't happen. I just know that I am tired of living broke! My kids and husband deserves better then what they have had. I am hoping that I will soon start getting these approval letters.
So I am one step closer to making my dream come true. I couldn't be more excited about these changes. I put my life on hold to help my family. My grandmother did the same for me when she decided to take me in and raise me so it was never a question when she asked me to do the same for her. I just wish she could be here to see me go back to school. She always wanted this for me and I know she would be happy! Maybe she can see from where she is, and she is smiling down on me now.
I hope that my kids see the importance of going to college and go and finish right out of high school! I don't want them to struggle like we have and live pay check to pay check. Life is about hard work and as long as you are willing to put the work in you can do anything. We do live in a amazing country that you don't have to be rich to go to college. You can have nothing and still go back to college and change your situation. Sure it takes alot of work and dedication to look for the right grants you need to go to school. But the point is there is help out there if you look for it. Its spread out all over the Internet and you have to be careful because some of them are fake and schemes. But the state website gives you a lot of options too. We are all faced with challenges and we can't help what or where we came from but you can change were you are going! And its my time to do just that.