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Saturday, May 14, 2011

Going back to college.

So I have decided at 30 years old to go back to college to get my nursing degree. This is something I have wanted to do since I was a little girl. I started right out of high school in 99' but because I was already a mother before I graduated and I was trying to hold down a full time job and take care of a house and "husband". It became too much for me, so I quit. I never should have but I was so young and so stupid I really didn't know any better.
In December of 2010 my grandmother who raised me and was my best friend past away suddenly from a massive heart attack. I had been working with her at a business she and my grandfather owned together for 25 years, it was too much for her so she wanted me to stay and help her and I did. But when she passed away I was lost for awhile. I didn't want to stay and work for my grandfather anymore, I had always hated being there. But I wasn't sure what I would do. The economy is not in a good place right now and finding another job wasn't easy. And what they had been paying me I am no longer able to support my disabled husband and 3 children. So I began thinking again about going back to school. This time the pull was so strong I just had to look in to it and see what my options were.
So I got on line and I started looking around trying to not only find a way to pay for school but find a way to have income coming in while I am in school. I was able to find many different ways to have the tuition and books paid for which is great, but with my situation I needed income too. And since I know from experience you can only be so many full time things, working and trying to go to school full time just wasn't going to work for me. Finally I found two possible ways to get what I needed, 1) is a grant for offered through the state of Maryland for people wanting to go to college for nursing that paid for school and gave a generous living expense. 2) I could go on welfare for 3 years and struggle and have income enough to live off and apply for another grants that will pay for school. As of today I know that I have school paid and welfare will help us for 3 years until I am finished school. And hopefully I will still get the other grant that offers a much better living expense for the 3 years. Either way, I am now enrolled in College for the 2011/2012 school year!
I am very much excited and can not wait to do this! But I am also very scared, I haven't gone to school in 12 years! And when I was in school I was a C student at best! Now I am a wife and a mother of 3 kids. I have a home and there are so minor health issues that requires regular monthly trips to the doctors. I do have a lot of family support and support of friends, my husband is happy for me to go back and accomplish my dream. My kids are older now, my son is 12 and my twin girls are 9, so they are willing to help more so I can do this. I have more determination then ever to do this and make all of our futures a little better. So even though I have so tight spots and I am nervous I know I can do this! Every single bit of the hard work will be worth it! And I am showing my children the importance of a higher education and that if I can do it now they can do it right out of high school!
So I will continue with post as time goes on and I am going through school. I think that maybe if others see I can do it, so can they! I know people with kids, husbands and homes that are and have done it! So I know I can too, I just have to stay focused and determined. We can struggle for 3 more years or we can struggle for the rest of our lives. Its time for that chain to be broken, I will be getting 10 times what I will be giving up temporarily for 3 years! Watch out world, its time for me to shine!